Got Commute Crazies?

by Kimberly A. Cook               (Twitter@  WarriorTales)

Is everybody out driving today possessed by demons or is this just commuting? Everyday I head for the day job I see all sorts of bizarre and dangerous driving tricks. My hope is to get to work and back in one piece.

I don’t text, talk on a phone or even sing to myself in order to keep track of everyone who thinks they are in a video game. With a long weekend coming up I wanted to list a few of my pet peeves and see if I can get some cooperation out there on the roads.

Turn Signals – These are not an accessory, they are driving tools. The goal is to use the tool BEFORE you make a move. Pulling into the left turn lane and then signaling means you must think I’m psychic. In the military when we marched cadence we had two commands to listen for: the prepatory command and the command of execution. Like RIGHT…… FACE. When a dril sergeant yelled RIGHT, we all knew in a breath to get ready to turn, then when FACE came, we pivoted and turned right together. Most of the time. Turn signals are the same. Put on the turn signal as the preparatory command, then execute a move. Simple.

Bumper Stickers: To amuse myself while stuck in traffic jams or driving I like to catch up on the latest bumper stickers. Favs include “Bark Less, Wag More,” “Cowgirl Mafia” and “Silly Cowboy, Trucks Are For Girls.” So imagine my consternation on a recent drive to work when I spotted a Grumpy Cat bumper sticker that said, “Grumpy Cat Doesn’t Care” and I couldn’t read the rest of it because the type got smaller! So I tried to cuddle up to this person’s bumper at the four way Stop sign, but they took off. I had to Google the darn thing and it turns out “Grumpy Cat Doesn’t Care About Your Stick Figure Family.” Great. Bigger type please.

Off Road: You cannot be too careful when you are out of the car also. A recent shopping trip to Home Depot found me almost getting t-boned in my shopping cart when a dude on an electric cart shot out from a potted palms display and almost took me broad side. It was like being attacked by a tiger popping out of the jungle. Not the best for ones nerves.

So be careful out there in the traffic and keep alert. That includes watching out around palm tree displays. Stay safe out there!