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Military Romance Author

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Black Friday

A Passel Of Puppies!

November 23, 2018 By Kimberly A. Cook Leave a Comment

What better way to celebrate Black Friday than staying home and watching videos of African Painted dog pups born to Ella at the Oregon Zoo! It’s her first litter and they estimate ten to sixteen pups. She needs privacy and quiet, so here we get to peek into her maternity ward. So either try to count the pups or go shopping today.

I can shop online like a ninja, so no worries here about sales. I actually did my shop and buy last weekend to beat the crowds. Okay, the crowds were there, but I’ve been trained for combat; it comes in very handy when retail shopping.

As I dived into an overflowing steel basket trying to find a certain polar bear snuggle blanket at Kohl’s my elusive prey was not to be found, but I captured it online. Don’t try this at home, I’m a trained professional buyer. The government used to pay me to do that. Alas, my budget is much smaller now. But I love me some bargains.

I did actually achieve getting two hoodies for free with points and coupons and sales and garlic. My personal best so far. But I digress.

Have a great, hopefully long, weekend and Happy Quirky Friday!

 

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Filed Under: Quirky Fridays Tagged With: A Passel of Puppies, African Painted dog, animals, Black Friday, buyer, cats, dogs, endangered species, Kimberly A. Cook, Oregon Zoo, puppies, pups, shopping, Warrior Tales, writer

Got Holiday Squirrel Brain?

November 29, 2016 By Kimberly A. Cook 2 Comments

by Kimberly A. Cook              (Twitter@  WarriorTales)

Ever have one of those moments when you find yourself in a situation and can’t figure out how the holy jumping beans you thought it was a good idea? Happened to me Thanksgiving night. Going to blame my delirium on turkey overdose, sugar rush and maximum salt intake.

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Smart squirrel. Eating not shopping the holiday sales.

 

Found myself at 8 p.m. in the Kohl’s store by my Mom’s house with 10,000 other shoppers. That is a conservative estimate. Somehow my brain decided I really wanted the set of eight remote controlled LED candles on sale for $19.99. Saw them looking at the turkey day ads that morning.

Parking was okay. Swam to the doors since we had a huge rainfall and it continued into the night. Started down the middle aisle to find the candles and noticed lots of hard core shoppers, but it didn’t really sink in. I blame the turkey tryptophan for my delayed reaction.

Since this Kohl’s store is arranged differently than my regular Kohl’s store my right turn led me away from the candle area. By the time I figured out I was looking at vacuum cleaners against the far wall instead of candles, I saw a line.

Hugh, my brain said. A line. Seems odd. I knew where I entered the store was the main checkout. Moving forward I realized it was THE CHECKOUT LINE. Awareness and a creeping sense of dread soon confirmed the nightmare; the checkout line was HALF WAY around the inside of the STORE. HALF THE LENGTH OF THE STORE.

I kept walking because my addled brain and eyes could not quite believe what they were seeing. Then I saw one shopper in line with a BIG BOX in front of her. Like a four-foot high cardboard box. Full to overflowing. No idea what all was inside the box, but I bet they’re still ringing up her purchases today.

That moment my real brain returned from vacation. WTF are we doing here? Screw the candles! Abort! Abort! Escape and evade! Dive! Dive! My military training kicks in at the oddest moments; must have been a turkey coma delay. Why didn’t it stop me in the first place from entering the parking lot?

Nearing the front of the store I observed nine checkout stands going full tilt. Still the humongo line. Bless all their little shopping crazed hearts.

Escaping out the front doors I launched myself into Subie and headed for home. I have not braved holiday deals/Black Friday sales for more than twenty years. It used to be a blast to dive under the raising gate into the Hallmark store the day after Christmas and get the ornaments on sale. But that ship has sailed for me.

At some point you realize you don’t need more ornaments or holiday decorations or any additional seasonal booty in the house. When you have more ornaments than trees could fit in your abode, tis the season to purge.

When I got home Spec Ops Cat was not happy his dinner was late. Where had I been?

No LED candles, cranky cat and temporary insanity. Welcome to the holidays!

Got holiday squirrel brain?

 

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Filed Under: Shopping Tagged With: Black Friday, holiday sales, holiday shopping, humor, Kimberly A Cook, shop, shopping crazies, squirrel brain, Thanksgiving hangover, Turkey Day, Warrior Tales

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