Kimberly A. Cook

Military Romance Author

friendship

Happy Valentines Day! Eat Cake!

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This is the mini chocolate cake I made for my Mom’s 94th birthday. I took a picture of today’s, but WordPress won’t let me upload it. Gah! Suffice it to say, it looks like this, but on a red heart plate. I use Betty Crocker Super Moist Devil’s Food cake mix and also Betty Crocker Rich & Creamy milk chocolate frosting. In case you need the secret recipe. For emergencies.

Happy New Year! Happy Valentines Day! I lost a month. More like two. Actually three, to be exact. Long story short, my mom had medical challenges and three months later here we are, coming out the other side. Tonight we get to celebrate her 95th birthday at her new Assisted Living home.

Since she is also a Valentines Day baby, it is especially sweet she is doing much better and we know she has a fabulous group of minions helping her out. Besides my sister and myself. We’re good, but very human. We wear down.

So now that mom has more staff, we are trying to get back on track with our to do lists, right after we finish clearing out her apartment this next week. And sell the car. And sort paper files.

Can we chat about stuff? I had too much of my own mess before this move. Still haven’t cleaned out all the stuff from Mom’s prior move two years ago.

If you’re thinking about downsizing or moving, start cleaning out yesterday. But not my new craft supplies I purchased when I had five or ten minutes to kill between running errands, buying groceries, and helping mom. I call it craft therapy for when you don’t have time to get to an actual therapist.          

On this holiday I am grateful for family, friends, hugs and well wishes. Good thoughts helped too. Especially appreciated my friend Kathy helping me wrangle two bookcases, one LaZBoy, and a very stout round kitchen table into my house. My dad built the kitchen table in my youth and it could withstand a nuclear blast.

It also didn’t fit inside the hatchback. I volunteered to be ballast and we drove with the tabletop on the bumper and me holding on for dear life to the bottom pedestal. It was a long block, but we made it. Now Spec Ops Cat thinks he has a new cat enrichment gym. And I need to rearrange my house and get rid of more overstuffed chairs. Still stuff.

While we celebrate this day of giving thanks for love, I want to acknowledge all the good in this world. Especially by the people who give a small part of themselves when they don’t realize how much it can mean to a brain dead, exhausted caregiver unable to even do simple math. Bless you all.

Like texts from friends just checking in, when they know all you’ve got time for is to maybe send an emoji. And they still care.

Grocery checkers who smile at you and make you laugh, when you really need a lift to your spirits.

Medical professionals who can’t give you a definite answer, but try to help.

Your dentist gets you in pronto to fix a tooth you just broke in half eating a Wheat Thin.

Your brother-in-law figures out why the new GFCI plug isn’t working so you don’t have to keep manually hurking your garage door up and tripping over the extension cord running from the house to the freezer in the garage.

Les Schwab mechanic angels figure out your flashing low tire pressure light isn’t right, but it needs to be replaced. And they do it.

The two sets of craft stamps you really want and thought you missed, miraculously show up on a flying trip in and out of Tuesday Morning.

Chocolate chip cookies, Goobers, cinnamon toast, a Big Mac and fries. And I only started gaining weight this week. It’s back to chicken, broccoli and rice!

For all the caregivers out there, hugs and best wishes. There are no calories for you today. Really. Take a deep breath. Now another. You’ve earned it.

Yes, you can make a cake just for yourself. Or buy cupcakes, cookies, or anything else you need to cope. And there are free meditation lessons on YouTube.

Have a wonderful Valentine’s Day everybody!

Got A Writer Pit Crew? Or Three?

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by Kimberly A. Cook                  (Twitter@ WarriorTales)

This past Friday I met with my author buddy and editor, Cindy Hiday, (www.cindyhiday.com) for one of our frequent staff meetings. We call them that because we write alone and need another carbon-based life form for creative support. These days I joke(?) it takes at least three NASCAR pit crews to keep me together, but one of those pit crews is full of writer and author buddies.

Bleeding Heart blooming in my garden today after surviving this weekend's thunder, rain and wind storms.
Bleeding Heart blooming in my garden today after surviving this weekend’s thunder, rain and wind storms.

Then on Saturday I met with my writer support group, a bunch of five authors and writers who talk about what is going on with our writing and our lives. We don’t critique each other’s writing, but we each get thirty minutes to tell what is happening with our life and art.

Turns out three of us had been through some pretty tough challenges in the last two months and the other two had been decompressing at the beach for seven months after moving to their dream location. We all support and help each other out. Writing is a craft we fit in around our pesky regular lives which keep intruding on our work. Personal and weather storms of all kinds don’t stop because we want to write our stories.

In these days of crazy news and even wackier odd things on tv, there is nothing like sitting with writer friends and really listening to each other. We unplug and open our ears to hear each others life stories. It always inspires and recharges me; like a camp fire without the smoke, flying embers and bats.

Writers need writer friends who support and encourage our work, plus hopefully bring snacks. If you don’t belong to a group like this, create one. That is how our group started, I needed one so I asked writers I was compatible with if they were interested. Now, several years later we are still at it meeting every other month for a couple hours.

No one understands a writer like a fellow writer. Let’s face facts, we can be an odd bunch at the best of times. Non-writers think we are in charge of our fiction characters and know what is going to happen. Ha! They also think we just whip out those non-fiction books and articles in no time flat. Nada.

One of my favorite sayings applies to writing, “If it was easy, anybody could do it.” True for both writers and Special Operations personnel; not everybody is cut out for the long gut grinding haul of these two professions. So whether you need a “staff meeting” or a “writer support group,” make sure you have writer friends and buddies to help you along the way.

It’s always a good idea to come out of our writer caves and interact with real people instead of screens and keyboards. Build your writer pit crew today!