Kimberly A. Cook

Military Romance Author

holiday shopping

Does Snow Make You Nuts?

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by Kimberly A. Cook                  (Twitter@  WarriorTales)

Feeling a bit squirrely today.  Forecast says chance of snow next week and the freak out is on here in normally wet Oregon. We love Mt. Hood to be covered with snow, looks gorgeous right now when we can see it, but snow in the valley makes us nuts.

Folks back East think we’re wussies about it, but with a high water content we get snow/ice. In my opinion the only good uses for ice are hockey rinks, skating and alcoholic beverages, not on roads.

So while the grocery shopping frenzy ramps up for chips, dips and ice cream in the Portland metro area – our preferred snow supplies – let’s check out how our furry friend handles the white stuff.

This little guy reminds me of trying to find my car at the shopping mall. Or has he lost his nuts? Join the crowd little guy!

Have a great weekend and Happy Quirky Friday!

https://youtu.be/wcmzdTXCMjE

Got Holiday Squirrel Brain?

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by Kimberly A. Cook              (Twitter@  WarriorTales)

Ever have one of those moments when you find yourself in a situation and can’t figure out how the holy jumping beans you thought it was a good idea? Happened to me Thanksgiving night. Going to blame my delirium on turkey overdose, sugar rush and maximum salt intake.

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Smart squirrel. Eating not shopping the holiday sales.

 

Found myself at 8 p.m. in the Kohl’s store by my Mom’s house with 10,000 other shoppers. That is a conservative estimate. Somehow my brain decided I really wanted the set of eight remote controlled LED candles on sale for $19.99. Saw them looking at the turkey day ads that morning.

Parking was okay. Swam to the doors since we had a huge rainfall and it continued into the night. Started down the middle aisle to find the candles and noticed lots of hard core shoppers, but it didn’t really sink in. I blame the turkey tryptophan for my delayed reaction.

Since this Kohl’s store is arranged differently than my regular Kohl’s store my right turn led me away from the candle area. By the time I figured out I was looking at vacuum cleaners against the far wall instead of candles, I saw a line.

Hugh, my brain said. A line. Seems odd. I knew where I entered the store was the main checkout. Moving forward I realized it was THE CHECKOUT LINE. Awareness and a creeping sense of dread soon confirmed the nightmare; the checkout line was HALF WAY around the inside of the STORE. HALF THE LENGTH OF THE STORE.

I kept walking because my addled brain and eyes could not quite believe what they were seeing. Then I saw one shopper in line with a BIG BOX in front of her. Like a four-foot high cardboard box. Full to overflowing. No idea what all was inside the box, but I bet they’re still ringing up her purchases today.

That moment my real brain returned from vacation. WTF are we doing here? Screw the candles! Abort! Abort! Escape and evade! Dive! Dive! My military training kicks in at the oddest moments; must have been a turkey coma delay. Why didn’t it stop me in the first place from entering the parking lot?

Nearing the front of the store I observed nine checkout stands going full tilt. Still the humongo line. Bless all their little shopping crazed hearts.

Escaping out the front doors I launched myself into Subie and headed for home. I have not braved holiday deals/Black Friday sales for more than twenty years. It used to be a blast to dive under the raising gate into the Hallmark store the day after Christmas and get the ornaments on sale. But that ship has sailed for me.

At some point you realize you don’t need more ornaments or holiday decorations or any additional seasonal booty in the house. When you have more ornaments than trees could fit in your abode, tis the season to purge.

When I got home Spec Ops Cat was not happy his dinner was late. Where had I been?

No LED candles, cranky cat and temporary insanity. Welcome to the holidays!

Got holiday squirrel brain?

 

September Squirrel, Holiday Shopping And Pumpkin Spice Lattes?

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by Kimberly A. Cook                (Twitter@   WarriorTales)

Is it just me or has somebody cranked up the calendar and put the holidays before the horse? And the sleigh? Three weeks ago I noticed the Halloween candy was out at the grocery store. August, it was August! People were already buying their pre-holiday taste testing goblin candy to devour before they have to buy more candy for Halloween. (You know we all do it.)

Notice how dainty and well-mannered Mr. Squirrel is while he scarfs up all the purloined bird food.
Notice how dainty and well-mannered Mr. Squirrel is while he scarfs up all the purloined bird food.

Then this weekend I saw KMart advertising Christmas layaway on tv with Santa shopping from a scooter and a walking Christmas tree using a grocery cart. Hope Santa’s okay. Maybe his sleigh doesn’t work well in KMart. Reindeer droppings I bet.

Our weather dipped into the 50s on Sunday and didn’t reach 60 degrees all day. I went hunting my new alpaca socks to wear. Now the weather guy says it’s going to be 90 degrees on Friday. Must be Fall in Oregon.

I ripped out my tomato plants yesterday because we were both tired of each other. I took in the last harvest and now have a science experiment in progress to see if the green ones will ripen. Put them in a leftover Chinese takeout food plastic container which I think looks like a mini-greenhouse. Perfect. Harvest time. Must be football season! Yes!

On the local news Monday night they spilled the beans that the Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Lattes, using real  pumpkin, would be available today. As opposed to using alien pumpkin ingredients I guess? BUT, if you wanted to get the treat on Labor Day, you had to use the password PUMPKIN. How clever is that?

Without great personal restraint this would be me in any bakery I enter. It's been a miracle I haven't climbed into a pastry case yet. The season's still young!
Without great personal restraint this would be me in any bakery I enter. It’s been a miracle I haven’t climbed into a pastry case yet. The season’s still young!

By accident I noticed the squirrel feeder was out of food when Mr. Squirrel was snacking at the ground bird feeder, instead of HIS feeder. Got a couple close up pics by carefully opening the screen door, but my favorite is the last one I had to shoot through the window for the perfect angle.

If winter must come then we all might as well chow down by hopping into the holiday food trough just like Mr. Squirrel. Forget dainty and bashful.

Local weather forecasters say due to a historic El Nino the Pacific Northwest should have above average temperatures and less rain this winter. Right.

Time to go find my snow shovel, reactivate my Netflix account and get a few cases of Halloween candy. Mr. Squirrel knows something.

Start hoarding the Pumpkin Spice Lattes!