Oregon Zoo

Spring Greetings! Unless you’re cowering under snow, then my apologies. We had a heat wave here in Oregon and it felt like August instead of April. Complete with fire warnings. Did that last year, no need to repeat, thank you very much.

Then the rains returned over the weekend. Good thing. We need to keep fire danger down.

But the two weeks of sun might explain part of our current Oregon Covid-19 fourth wave surge. We had sun for two weeks straight and lost our minds. 

Do you feel like you’re trying to give a cat a bath while trotting on a treadmill that’s sinking in quicksand? Yeah. Me too. I recognize this affliction. We called it short timer syndrome in the military. Vietnam, Iraq, and Afghanistan veterans know about in spades.

It’s the limbo time before you go home from war, deployment, or get out of the military. Or in our case, mask wearing and pandemic social distancing.

It can be the most dangerous time of any mission.

You’re tired of everything. You want it to end. Your focus slips off the mission target. Then stupid stuff happens.

We be there my fellow recruits. Dig deep and hang tough. Last Monday I was released out of the gates like a greyhound chasing a real rabbit to sign up for a vaccine shot. And the race is on!

Since I’ve been too young and healthy until now in Oregon, grateful for that, I’m doing the shot-a-rama thing to get an appointment. Wish me luck! I’m the last in my family to get stuck and will do my part.

The Oregon Health Authority released a new web table tracking vaccines per county. OHA is doing a great job, by the way. And this fancy new graphic gave me an idea.

Let’s play a national game! We’ve got the data. In Oregon right now, Benton County on the coast is leading with 52 percent vaccinated versus second place Lincoln County coming in at 51 percent. You feel it right? The competitive American spirit. In a good way.

If we can get the National Football League to provide graphics, ESPN to get a Covid vaccine tracking board with a nightly update, Scott Van Pelt from SportsCenter to talk it up, we can ignite our competitive state pride. Add spiffy stickers to download for each state.

You know what will happen next. Las Vegas will set up the odds for the betting folk.

And everybody gets to play! Including Puerto Rico, Guam, District of Columbia, American Samoa, U. S. Virgin Islands, Northern Mariana Islands, and all the outlying islands and atolls. (We’ve got a bunch of those folks.)

Because as dysfunctional a USA family as we might be; we are gamers. Digital and old school. Online and offline. And if we think we’re going to let another state or area beat us, heck no.

I’m up for doing whatever it takes to get us to national herd immunity. For once, I want to belong to a happy cow herd. I’m thinking 101 percent. 101? We’ve got not-yet-born babies percolating as we speak people. This is a moving target!

Prizes? Shots in arms. But also important? Bragging rights.

The smaller populated states and territories and the District of Columbia have a very good chance at kicking big population state’s butts. For once.         

But the very best part? Saving lives.

Now we need a catchy name. US Super Shots Competition? USSSC? Sounds like a legit thing to me. Dr. Fauci can be the Commissioner!

These are the days we have to be crafty and creative fighting this global enemy.

Don’t take your eyes off the mission, gamers.

I know we’re tired, exhausted and cranky. I’ve even rearranged my refrigerator magnets. But now is when we dig deep and continue to mask and roll up our sleeves.

Join me in becoming a contestant in the USSSC.

I think as the bonus prize, the winning state or territory gets to pick the military aircraft flyover of their choice. Because that’s how we do it here in the USA! And our military pilots need the flight hours. Plus, it’s cool.

My aircraft shopping list? Several C-17s. Some C-130s. One B-52 and B-2 bomber each. A herd of CH-47 choppers. A flock of A-10 Warthogs! A bevy of Apache and Blackhawk choppers for spice. Local Air National Guard fighters. And the Air Force Thunderbirds and the Navy Blue Angels with some kicking Coast Guard rescue choppers. That’s a good start……  

And I must leave you with a fabulous lemur video showing how they celebrate spring at the Oregon Zoo.

P.S. BREAKING NEWS: Just got my shot appointment scheduled. Syringe ahoy!

Baby Yoda at the Oregon Convention Center vaccine site supporting the National Guard! He is masked and vaccinated. My sister took this picture after her volunteer shift putting shots in arms and monitoring, while my brother-in-law escorts folks who use wheelchairs through the process. So proud of both of them. It takes all of us!